Updated: Mar 30, 2020
This past weekend I completed another trip around the sun. With this being my yes year, I was really hoping and planning to make this a good one. As I began 2018, I imagined how I might spend my birthday, would I be out dancing? Ice cream munching? Would I be having drinks or a bonfire? All potential plans included spending time with friends. As my audition calendar began to fill, one of the first I knew about would be taking place on my birthday... in NYC. How perfect! Many friends reside there, I hear night life can be wild and exciting and I'll either get cut or not. Saturday comes around, I'm staying with Ginny (Laura's best friend/maid of honor) her husband and their adorable and handsome little 18 month old Lucas. I arrived technically on my birthday,
around 12:30am and before parking I received two calls - one from my Mother and one from my Twin, Bobby. Not my literal twin, but we grew up going to school together, were born three hours apart at the same hospital and have been great friends through it all. Every year - it is competition to see who calls first - he won last year and likes to claim he won this year, though technically my mom did. We talked birthday, twin stuff, we talked about plans and we talked hockey. Every year I think midnight is my favorite part of my birthday knowing we get to talk and just love on each other even if its been months since we've seen each other. Bobby, you are easily one of the most consistent and happy birthday gift I get. So thank you and I love you!! After getting off the phone with them, I found myself a parking spot and walked to Ginny and Juan's place to sleep. Ginny was such a sweetheart for staying up to make sure I got in and was settled and for her (and most people) it was LATE. I mean I had anticipated arriving at 11:30ish - traffic had something else entirely in mind. We said quick hellos and we both went to bed. Saturday morning, just after sunrise, I woke to a less than happy and trapped 18 month old's tears. Ginny profusely apologized, to which I laughed - there was no need. Ginny walks out with Lucas, a handsome little guy guy - who until he laid his eyes on the stranger on HIS couch, wasn't too happy to be without his mom and dad. I said good morning and he just gave me this confused and surprised look - "Who are you and why are you on my couch?" was what I imagine was going through his mind. They went to have morning cuddles in bed while I got another half hour of snoozing in. Lucas comes back, slowly warms up to me and before you know, I have been handed a book and he sits on the rug by the wall looking at me. I plop down on the rug and begin to read, he moved closer. Then I laid on my belly and it didn't take long for him to be closer in a matching position, "agua" in hand. We had a fabulous start to the morning, I was able to sew on my ribbons, do some stretching and eating all before having to leave for my audition. Upon arriving at the Gelsey Kirkland studios, I immediately saw faces I recognized from previous auditions, programs, and classes. I said hello to girls I knew as I made my way into the line, that wrapped around the entire studio. By the end of registration we had a number of women auditioning, there were 138 girls. They were not prepared for the turnout and broke us up into four groups - two groups at a time in different studios. From there they made a cut, a cut I didn't make. While I felt good about what I offered, I knew the following things mattered at this particular audition: 1. He likes working with people he already knows. (I barely knew him). 2. They asked my age... never a good thing (in fact, not entirely sure it is legal) and 3. I didn't really care one way or another. I wanted to do my best, have a good time and get my face out there. I presented myself well. I had a strong class and was musically on point(e) - sorry dancer pun, couldn't help myself. But truly, I felt good, I was one of few people who got the timing on one combination that were super specific about. I walked out quite happy with myself knowing I didn't care too much what happened from there. I will admit there are many rumors about this company that I couldn't ignore, so I wasn't too upset when I got cut. With that - I was able to get out and enjoy the spring weather in NYC. I reached out to a bunch NYC friends, to which only one replied, and I was feeling really hurt. I told myself I'd really do it UP for the birthday, and only one person answered. I hopped a CitiBike and biked, made my way to one roof top bar (didn't open until 5:30pm) bust, then biked to another, again a total bust. Finally made it to a third, it was only open to a private event... ok so no rooftop bars for me. I made my way to the HighLine walkway from there, and my not so great mood combined with tourists blocking the entire walkway - stopping at every new high rise view or building to take a selfie - wasn't the place for me. I made my way to the Piers - I enjoyed every bit of this walk. I got to pet a lot of puppies along the way. I walked all the way to the 9/11 memorial, then to the Brooklyn Bridge (which by the time I arrived there, it was FREEZING... it had dropped maybe 20 or 30 degrees. I wasn't any longer dressed for the occasion. In total, I believe I biked and walked over ten miles. I had made contact with my cousin and was able to make plans to join my Uncle Dale, cousin Evan, his girlfriend Bella and friend for dinner. I hopped on the subway and met them out in Brooklyn. It was a late dinner and they had to wait for me which I felt bad about, but I had a really nice time. It was so nice to not be alone for at least that much.
Upon getting back to Ginny and Juan's, there was a vase of flowers and a card for me from the whole family. It was so so sweet and I was really touched. They not only took me in but got me flowers. I made my bed and opened Lucas' door for the am and went to bed. I was really happy to be able to meet up with Hannah for brunch Sunday before my drive home. She told me about the show she had gone last night, updated me on new jobs and things since our last get together. It was so great to see her, spend some time catching up and she helped me put into perspective why birthdays aren't always what we hope they will be. Why they might not be the best and why I wasn't off base feeling blue/disappointed. We build up our birthdays to be this special occasion and unless we selfishly request people to set time aside to celebrate yourself, it likely is to fall short, and even when you do... you may not get what you hoped. It made me feel a lot better and it helped me look to the people who did make it special. Jake took me to the Capitals Playoff Opener Thursday with friends. I got to dance and see dance people I hadn't in months. I got to have dinner with family, I got to read to Lucas and start my day on such a great note and had a beautiful day that I got to enjoy outside. I was grateful to have voiced my frustration but more so to hear that it was totally fair to feel the way I did and get some perspective. I still owe myself my Lewnes Steak dinner that I promised myself. Here's to 26, to fresh perspectives, lots of adventures, and spending time with people who make me happy and a better person. Bring it on!!